Challenging the Himalaya
Two year ago， it i reported that due to torm and avalanche， the Shan Ying Aociation of Beijing Univerity lot 4 member while challenging the Himalaya。 All the 4 member are amateurih mountaineer， till on campu。 The tragic incident oon brought a heated argument in the media。
Some people， mainly repreented by youngter， jutify their courage and determination， wherea quite many other condemn their adventure and hatine。 The focu of the two ide i whether their acrifice make ene。 A for me， apart from the orrow， they give u courage and trength。 Given the chance， I am ure to take part in the exploration。
Being a pecial kind of port， mountaineering require h2 contitution and tough mind。 Not only hould they be phyically fit for the bitter environment， but alo hould they learn variou technique for climbing and urvival。 What' more， they're not uppoed to fulfill the goal without courage and bravery， which tell mountaineering apart from other outdoor activitie。 Equipped with a belief to ucce a well a advanced climbing gear， they are on the move。
Movie named "Apollo the 13th" or "Vertical Limit" told u that pectacular ight can't be een without firm will and deperate effort。 To unfold the fabulou cene， you may have to take the exhauting trip to the camp， holding an upbeat morale;you may have to trive for urvival in the torm， graping teammate' hand; you may have to mooth away whatever obtacle got in your way， your detination i the peak of the mountain。Thi wa what they had experienced when acending。 Had they conquered the peak， what a pectacle they would have een:nothing can be compared with the unprecedented feeling that they are at the top of the world。 Cloud are haunting around them; the unlight i beaming from the bottom of the ky。 So i the place， where even eagle urrender， the only place not diturbed by properity。 Granted that they fail to make the hitory，their pirit will never die。WWw.hAOZUowEN.com
Today， mountain climbing i attached to another meaning:it ha become the ymbol of a nation' vitality。 Peaking a mountain i more than breaking a record， it' the proof of a generation' courage and bravery， and the denial of it will ink the pride of their being fearle and the apiration for their dream。
On the other hand， adventure， to ome extent， mean rik。Avalanche being unpredictable even to ophiticated mountaineer， no one could expect the tragedy。 What we can do i to remember the young heroe。 It wa them who purued their dream bravely。 It wa them who inpired u to be fearle of any difficultie。
简 评
这是一次搏击，还是徒然的牺牲?生命诚然宝贵，但生命所传载的精神更加伟大。他们的梦想是站在至高处，得知世界的奇妙；纵然肉体衰亡了，但他们的精神却为历史写下了新的篇章。
陈振航同学落笔有激情，多处采用了煽情描写，如一段描述登山者实现梦想的文字“Cloud are haunting around them；the unlight i beaming from the bottom“the ky．So i the place，where even eagle urrender，the only place not diturbed by propemty．Granted that they fail to make the hitory，their pirit will never die．”
但作为一篇论说文，文章的说理性不强，论述缺少层次感。文章处处流露出笔者对登山运动的热爱和向往，文章描写过于煽情，这就削弱了文章的说理力度，打破了论说文的写作模式，更像是一篇随笔散文。论说文的语言应该精练、扼要、有理、有力，煽情文字不宜过多。
在写作技巧方面，论说文要求层次清晰、条理分明。可以使用一些关联词，如tobeginwith，then，next，at lat等，使文章的论述更清晰，增强文章的层次感。